I sinned. I don’t exactly remember what I did but I remember how I felt. Church was ending and they called us up front if we wanted to pray. I rushed to the front of the church, hit my knees and buried my face on the floor. I was groveling. I was sincere but I was a mess. Then I heard the Lord speak, “Stand Up”. Then I heard it again and again “Stand Up, Stand Up, Stand Up.”
In disbelief, I hobbled my way up to a standing position. As soon as I was standing, It was as if God took his right hand and put it on the side of my head covering my ear and pulled me into His chest in a hug. I felt the forgiving embrace of my Father. It was tangible. I felt like a son vs a subject fearfully approaching an angry king with bad news. I was filled with dignity and acceptance. It was an amazing contrast. Convicted yet hopeful and sorrowful yet deeply loved.
After this experience, I did not become ‘sinless’ but I stopped approaching God like a subject fearfully begging for what I already had as his son, His forgiveness. I approached God with dignity vs. groveling. His perfect loved had cast out that fear.
This event helped me understand this obscure scripture.
“The head of every Man is Christ….Every Man who pray or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head- 1Cor 11:3a, 4”
I’ve been tiring to understand what this scripture means for weeks. A seemingly unrelated story in David’s life along with my experience helped me understand what God is saying about Men relating to God and others.
In 2 Samuel 15 David ‘covered his head’ as he was weeping when he was running away from Jerusalem because of his Son Absalom. He covered his head because of his own shame and regret of his actions as a Dad. He believed his past sins/failures disqualified him to speak into the situation that desperately need Him to step into to.
We are all like David sometimes. Not stepping up into God’s calling as husbands, fathers, leaders and men because we know in our heart of hearts we don’t deserve to be there and we are guilty. We are a sham and if found out we’ll be kicked out of our roles. Yet, God calls Men to come to Him boldly as sinless and to prophesy to others confidently as approved by God. Your approval cannot come from your own perceptions or others. As Paul said “I don’t even judge myself.” 1Cor.4:3b
”Men, you are a SAINTS who occasionally sin, not a SINNERS/SCREW UPs who occasionally gets it right.
No great man stands tall on his own merit. They stand tall because of God’s great love and mercy to them.
Don’t dishonor you head any longer by groveling, covering your head in shame before God and others. No man is innocent but in God through Jesus all men can Stand Strong in God’s amazing acceptance and shine his Glory with your head fully uncovered.